Resumo de Blow Him Away - Marcy Michaels; Salle; Marie De

You Have to Walk Before You Can (Unzip His) Fly:
Preparing Yourself to Find (and Swing) Your Partner of Choice

ACCEPTING THESE REALITIES WILL MAKE YOU A BETTER LOVER

Sexual Skill Doesn't Come Naturally
Sure, the impulse to have sex is natural, and the heat of passion is sure to lend a little on-the-spot inspiration, but sexual skill must be learned and practiced like anything else.

Tell Him to Wash Behind His Balls
Genitals have a naturally pungent odor and taste. Some people love it, others don't. But you're in denial if you're surprised by it. If this is a concern for you, just take a bath or shower with your partner, instead of trying to skirt oral sex, or pretending to be comfortable going down when you're not. If you forge ahead anyway, your partner will sense your repressed discomfort, and the effort to conceal your true feelings will take the zest out of your performance.

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Orgasm
Whether it's that funny slurping noise, a penis that veers to the right like it's catching a curveball, or a pubic hair in your eye, unexpected things are bound to happen during sex. Who can say what it will be? One woman I know started laughing while her guy was coming in her mouth, and it ended up dribbling out of her nose. Things like this are a natural part of an active sex life, so you might as well expect them and make sure to bring your sense of humor with you to the bedroom. Taking sex too seriously is a sure passion-killer.

Genitals Look Funny
Believe it or not, the overall quality of oral sex is still being compromised by people's shame and fear of genitalia. The people giving oral sex are afraid to stare too much, because they don't want to make their partner feel uncomfortable, while their partner can barely even relax and enjoy themselves because they're so freaked out by someone sniffing around down there. Shocking as it is, this is occurring in the twenty-first century, and it's compromising the quality of oral sex. To overcome any vestiges of genital-fear, take a moment with your partner to really look at his genitals. Tell him why you want to do it, and make sure he feels comfortable with it first. Then look¡ªreally look¡ªat all the different parts, and acknowledge that these are what you have to work with. An anatomically complete understanding of your partner's genitals will assure your subconscious that there is nothing "bad" or "dirty" or "scary" lurking in there anywhere.

"That was great. Really, it was . . ."
Most likely, no one's told you the truth about your sexual skills. It's a rare lover who openly communicates what they do or don't like, because they're trying to be nice. But withholding feedback is extremely counterproductive with regards to sex. The way people communicate about sex isn't even worthy of the term "miscommunication," because not only does withholding feedback send the wrong information (that you like something you don't, or dislike something you do), it actively obstructs future communication about sex. We're lucky consultants can't be called into the bedroom, because most people would be fired. The result? Very few men and women have been given enough feedback to develop a repertoire that works. And it's a damned shame. Since they haven't built up the strength and precision of their lips and tongue through a history of feedback and refinement, they develop a repertoire based on second-rate skills and subject every poor date they meet to it. As a loving pet owner thinks their cat or dog is absolutely unique among the breed, everyone¡ªand I mean everyone¡ªthinks they have great sexual skills. Meanwhile, most people report more than a few instances of less-than-satisfying sex every year. You do the math.

You don't have to pass out a comments and suggestions card afterward, but you do need to elicit your partner's feedback. A whispered "do you like that?" during oral sex will produce more honest feedback r you?" when the deed has already been done.

People who perform poorly at oral sex are usually hung up on one or all of these basic issues. But there's another related set of concerns that are a little more serious, and must be addressed for you to get the most out of giving¡ªand receiving¡ªoral sex. As much as oral sex is a matter of skill, it is also an issue rife with hang-ups and inhibitions for many people. These must be eradicated to unleash your greatest oral sex potential.

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