Resumo de The Low Down On Going Down - Marcy Michaels; Salle;Marie De

ACCEPTING THESE REALITIES WILL MAKE YOU A BETTER LOVER

Sexual Skill Doesn't Come Naturally
Sure, the impulse to have sex is "natural," and the heat of passion is sure to lend a little on-the-spot inspiration, but sexual skill must be learned and practiced like anything else.

"If girls are made of sugar and spice, why do they taste like tuna fish?"
Genitals have a naturally pungent odor and taste. Some people love it, others don't. But you're in denial if you're surprised by it. If this is a concern for you, just take a bath or shower with your partner, instead of trying to skirt oral sex, or pretending to be comfortable going down when you're not. If you forge ahead anyway, your partner will sense your repressed discomfort, and the effort to conceal your true feelings will take the zest out of your performance. Barring a bath, be aware that a vagina will taste and smell very differently after it is stimulated enough to create the body's natural lubricants, which have an addictively delicious flavor. A little foreplay and hand action can change the menu entirely.

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Orgasm
What's the matter? Labia got yer tongue? Whether it's that funny slurping noise, a penis that veers to the right like it's catching a curve ball, or a pubic hair in your eye, unexpected things are bound to happen during sex. Who can say what they will be? One woman I know started laughing while her guy was coming in her mouth, and it ended up dribbling out of her nose. Things like this are a natural part of an active sex life, so you might as well expect them and make sure to bring your sense of humor with you to the bedroom. Taking sex too seriously is a sure passion-killer.

Genitals Look Funny
Believe it or not, the overall quality of oral sex is still being compromised by people's shame and fear of genitalia. The people giving oral sex are afraid to stare too much, because they don't want to make their partner feel uncomfortable, while their partner can barely even relax and enjoy themselves because they're so freaked out by someone sniffing around down there. Shocking as it is, this is occurring in the twenty-first century, and it's compromising the quality of oral sex. To overcome any vestiges of genital-fear, take a moment with your partner to really look at her genitals. Tell her why you want to do it, and make sure that she feels comfortable with it first. Then look¡ªreally look¡ªat all the different parts, and acknowledge that these are what you have to work with. This exercise is worth it: an anatomically complete understanding of your partner's genitals will assure your subconscious that there is nothing "bad" or "dirty" or "scary" lurking in there anywhere.

"That was great. Really, it was . . ."
Most likely, no one's told you the truth about your sexual skills. The fact is, women fake orgasms pretty regularly, and it's a rare lover who openly communicates what they do or don't like, because they're trying to be nice. But withholding feedback is extremely counterproductive with regards to sex. The way people communicate about sex isn't even worthy of the term "miscommunication," because not only does withholding feedback send the wrong information (that you like something you don't or dislike something you do like), it actively obstructs future communication about sex. We're lucky consultants can't be called into the bedroom, because most people would be fired. The result? Very few men and women have been given enough feedback to develop a repertoire that works. And it's a damned shame. Since they haven't built up the strength and precision of their lips and tongue through a history of feedback and refinement, they develop a repertoire based on second-rate skills and subject every poor date they meet to it. As a loving pet-owner thinks their cat or dog is absolutely unique among the breed, everyone¡ªand I mean everyone¡ªthinks they have great sexual skills.report more than a few instances of less-than-satisfying sex every year. You do the math.

You don't have to pass out a Comments and Suggestions card afterward, but you do need to elicit your partner's feedback. A whispered "Do you like that?" during oral sex will produce more honest feedback than a "Was that good for you?" after she's already decided that she just wants to be friends.

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