Resumo de Tevye's Daughters

Arranged Marriage versus Love Marriage

Since the age of 12, I have been reading Russian born Sholom Aleichem's novel Tevye's Daughters, and with growing years, the novel has grown inside me too. Like any other reader, I am greatly impressed by Tevye's sense of humor, his quotations and how often he misquotes them, his friendly talks and altercations with the heaven-dweller god, his belief in tradition, his sole ambition of becoming rich, really Tevye represent's the innocense that we have long lost. There is so much to discuss from this novel, for eg, Tevye's house making wife, Golde, his daughters, their love marriages, generation gap, revolution, Tzarist regin, ever-changing world...but I would like to restrain myself to discuss one song [Do you love me?] from the film version of the novel, Fiddler on the Roof made in 1971 which walked away with 3 Oscars.

Song: Do you love me?
Occasion: Daughter Hodel gets engaged to Perchik against the wish of Tevye. Tevvye comes to his wife to inform her that their daugther is engaged and that the world is changing, and that there are love marriages everywhere... then he suddenly realises that his wife has never said "I love you" to him. So he amusedly asks "Do you love me?"

Golde, the realistic wife who has seen more of poverty, illness, and struggle is in a way shocked by this romantic, modern times' question because her husband has never asked if she loved her, so she thinks sure he must be having indigestion and asks him to rest. When Tevye pleads further [every man needs to be assured at one point in time or the other that he is loved very dearly, doesn't he?]

Golde answers, I have lived with you for 25 years, washed your clothes, milked your cows, fought with you, starved with you, shared bed with you, gave you children.. if this is not an act of love then what is love. What a realistic answer. Her answer proves that love is a verb, a way of living.

Her answer leaves us at the threshold of arranged marriage. Just 2 or 3 generations away, back in time, like Tevye and Golde, husbands and wives hardly said I love you to each other, but they lived together under the sacred institute of marrriage and mind you divorce percentage was very very insignificant. Today, there are only love marriages, live-in relationships, swinging, open relationships. We say I love you dear, I love you sweetheart,, every now and then, SMS love messages, write mails of love, send E-card of love... in spite of all these lovely gestures... the divorce rate in today's generation is much much higher. There is incompatibility, irreconcilable differences in relationships leaving us at cynicism and disbelief in the magic of love.

So, where does this leave us? Are understanding and endurance better virtues in sustaining a relationship than love? From the citation of Tevye and Golde's "do you love me?" song, it seems so. Acceptance and willingness to make it as a family is much more rewarding than love. Love has meaning only as a part of daily activities of life. Love cannot stand on its own. Love cannot stand as an idea. We, this generation fellas, fail to understand this and go on saying I love you, I love you.. without really sacrificing, understanding, and forbearing which love in reality calls for.

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