Resumo de The New Dare To Discipline

Dr. James Dobson is a licensed psychologist and the president of Focus on the Family. He holds a Ph.D. in child development and 12 honorary doctorates. In 1970, he was writing the original edition of Dare to Discipline which was an instant success that continued as a best-seller for nearly twenty years. Althought the principles in the first book are timeless, the new book is revised and expanded to address parenting in today's modern context. Above his title and experiences, Dr. Dobson is a parent himself, that is why I trust his words.

The book really open my mind of the true meaning of discipline. I am a Mum of a 3 year old, he is a healthy, active and strongwilled little boy, I thankful to God for him, but there are times in my life that I have not got a clue how to handle him and almost loosing my mind. Talking about 1 child, I cannot imagine for parents who got more than 1 children in their care, how overwhelming parenting could be.
There is a tendency that a child will challenge parents authority and push them to the limit of their patient simply by just refusing to obey. Every good parents must understand this frustration and often feel guilty and inadequate.

Dr. Dobson emphasized in this book how important it is to discipline a child. The book is full with cases samples that really practical and helpful for parents on how to handle rebellious child. It does not matter if you had a toddler who refused to go to bed or a teenager who disrespect you and challenge you in anyway he/she could, this book providing you with solutions.
What methods and philosophy of discipline that Dr. Dobson's writing about in this book? It is a type of discipline that gives balance in a child's life. It is not harsh, oppressive control type of discipline, but it is also against the unstructured permissiveness we saw in the mid-twentieth century. Dobson's wrote:"At the oppressive end of the continuum, a child suffers the humiliation of total domination. The atmosphere is icy and rigid, and he lives in constant fear. He is unable to make his own decisions, and his personality is squelched beneath the hobnailed boot of parental authority. Lasting characteristics of dependency; deep, abiding anger; and even psychosis can emerge from this persistent dominance."
Dr. Dobson also wrote about the horrible cases of unloved and abused children that was cause damage for life.
On the other side, Dr. Dobson also wrote about the opposite extreme type of parenting that could also damaged a child for life. He wrote, "In the absence of adult leadership, the child is his own master from his earliest babyhood. He thinks the world revolves around his heady empire, and he often has utter contempt and disrespect for those closest to him. Anarchy and chaos reign in his home, and his mother is often the most nervous, frustrated woman on her block."

Dr. Dobson examined 5 underpinnings to commonsense child rearing:
1. Developing respect for parents is the critical factor in child management
2. The best opportunity to communicate often occurs after a disciplinary event
3. Control without nagging (It is possible)
4. Dont's saturate the child with materialism
5. Establish a balance between love and discipline

Chapter 4 content Questions and Answers with F.A.Q. that are really useful for parents.
Chapter 5 and 6 content practical advices on how to generate balanced discipline on a child / the children's life.
Inside the book Dr. Dobson has also inserted verses from the Bible that could support balanced parenting.
The Appendix part is also very useful nowadays, when parents also dealing with teenager who use drugs. There are info about the symptoms of drug abuse, drugs cost, the most common illicit drugs and glossary of drug-world slang.
I believe the principles and practical advices in the book could also be use to handle any other kind of un-healthy dependency in our child life, including on binge drinking, sex and violence problems.

Your child is your childlifetime, there is no term such as "former child" or "ex-child". So as long as you still have a chance to manage your child and still be able give good influence in his/her life, you could use Dr. Dobson's book as your guidance. For me, this book is really an enlightment, if not too much to say that this book contents are also a "lifesaver" during my parenting years. *****

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