Maria opened her eyes. The horizontal lines of sunlight, from the window blinds, made her squint. As she sat up and stretched, deep underneath her subconscious, a tiny voice said "Good morning mommy." Maria finished her stretch and the slightest of smiles came to her face.
In the kitchen, Maria set up a pot of coffee and sliced a grapefruit in half before sprinkling some sugar on it. She poured herself a cup of coffee, mixing in some creme and sugar as she sat at the table looking out the window as the sun, still rising, shone down on the garden in the front yard. She took took a sip from her cup.
"Mommy?!? Yuck. You can't drink coffee any more. You have to start eating healthy now. You want me to be healthy, don't you? You're so silly mommy."
Later that morning Maria walked in the park. The light reflected of the surface of the water so brightly it was almost blinding. But the contrast against the green grass, and the red and yellow flowers was breath-taking. Maria sat on a bench and leaned over to smell some of the flowers. The tiny voice, "It's so beautiful. After I'm born, promise that you'll take me here mommy. I want to smell the flowers, and feel the sun on my skin, and the breeze on my face. I can only imagine how wonderful it all is."
As the day passed, the sun gave way to gray clouds and a gentle sprinkle of rain. Back in her bedroom, Maria sat on her bed. She was holding a picture in her hand. The photo was of a sunny day, her and her boyfriend were smiling. You couldn't tell, but below where the picture cut off, her boyfriend was lightly pinching her side. He called it her "cinnamon rolls." It was the only spot on her body that he was able to tickle. As she remembered that picture she thought she would smile fondly, but instead she started to feel the tears well up in her eyes. She wished that he would be there to put his hand on her back and tell her that everything would be OK, but she knew that wouldn't happen. The day she found out that she was pregnant was the last day that she saw him. She lay down and sobbed.
"Mommy? What's wrong?", the tiny voice said. "Are you crying because daddy is gone? Don't be sad mommy. I'm here. I'll always be here. No matter what happens, I will never leave you. I'll always be here to hug you, and to tell you that everything will turn out OK. I love you so much mommy. Please don't cry."
For the briefest of moments Maria felt a calmness. A sense that everything would be OK. And she smiled. Then, as fast as it happened, it went away. She gripped her pillow, and cried again.
The sun was still hidden behind the clouds although the rain had stopped. It was chilly and the sidewalk was full of puddles. Her pants legs were getting wet and had become very uncomfortable, mirroring her mood.
"Mommy. I'm so excited to be born. I can't wait. It's going to be so amazing the first time you hold me in your arms. When we look into each others eyes for the first time, and we both know that no matter what, we will always love each other so much. So very, very much. And nothing will ever be able to take that away from us. Nothing. I love you."
Maria stepped in another puddle. A Little mud sprayed cuff of her pants. It didn't matter though. She was at her destination. As she reached the doo. She had tears in her eyes, and a distant, almost lost, look in her face. Maria walked in. The door closed behind her revealing a sign that read; WOMAN'S CHOICE: CRISIS PREGNANCY TERMINATION CENTER
That night the rain came down hard, pelting the roof. Maria lay in her bed. She cried heavily, gasing for breath, her chest heaving to the point that it hurt. She had cried once already that day, but not like this. Not so hard. And, also unlike earlier, this time there was no tiny little voice just under her subconscious. No comfort to bring a fleeting smile to her face. Nothing. She cried harder.
- O Perfume: História De Um Assassino
- Life Says Impossible?????????
- Daniel Deronda
- ''''because Of My Stories''''