The Cinderella Complex: Women's Hidden Fear Of Independence
(Collette Dowling)
A divorced mother of three explores the gender gap between society expectations and personal empowerment. The Cinderella Complex is a network of largely repressed attitudes and fears that causes women to deny their own abilities. Women today are waiting for something external to transform their lives, like the extremely passive heroine in the fairy tale of Cinderella. The thesis of this book is that all women have a personal psychological need to be dependent. No matter how smart, successful or sophisticated she may be, every woman wants to be saved from real or imagined hardship. Fearfulness has long been considered a natural component of femininity. Psychologists have known for years that women have a far more intense need for external approval and acceptance than men. Girls are taught from a very early age that they must have protection to survive. Boys are trained out of dependency. men are taught to be more outgoing, take risks, and be aggressive. Girls are encouraged to be passive, to avoid conflicts and defer to those in authority. Dependency feeds on itself. If all one wants is safety, one is content with a dull and narrow life. Independence is not something to be wrested from others; it must be developed from within.
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