Resumo de Above The Grain

- About three times

- Wouldn?t affect it.

- Possibly 5, but it would be 5 clean swipes.

- It couldn?t change anything.

- Once that was done, people would stop recognising.

- I?m telling you it is not in the face where it happens.

- It has to be. That?s all that we use as a gauging tool. Once it was gone?

- No! The face is used to channel, we don?t recognise people by?

- Surely if I were to slice parts of it off then people wouldn?t know who I was. I could wander, never really caring where I was going. Nobody would stop me and tell me where I was meant to be going, or let me know that I better hurry because I were late, or persecute me for looking different?they wouldn?t know who I was meant to be, where I was meant to be going. I would be faceless to everyone?s eyes. I could live in the pure state of non-existence.

- You could slowly peel every section of skin and muscle from your face?

- Yea, peeling, I think that I could get my fingers under the skin behind my ears, and then I?m sure that I could slowly and painfully peel off the skin in one mass, one mass of physical torture. Would feel nice, like that feeling of when you pick that last segment of scab off your knee, or bite off that last part of an ulcer inside your lip, it would just feel, ahhhh?that nice calm feeling you know? Like after a huge battle finishes?nothing but that slow drone of the last gasp of human breath?ahhhh.

- ?but it wouldn?t make a difference. It?s not in your face that people recognise, or even your face that people see and absorb. No, no, no.

- Of course it is. They can?t see anything else. That is all that is visible, the only thing that people treasure, worship and live by.

- No.

- I could even sell the rights to watch me peel my skin off?Yea, it could be an amazing TV show. I could peel a different section of skin off of my face in a different part of the world every week. I could give facts about the place that I am in, then at the end of each show peel a part of my face off and leave a piece of me all over the world! By the time I returned I would be non-existent. All that would remain is parts of my identity scattered like ashes over the places that I never really knew.

- If you peeled away your face?however slowly, all you would achieve was a laying bare of everything you truly are. You would expose the real you, the ?you? that it is that everyone recognises, not your face.

- What? How? I want to be non-existent. I want to peel my face away, I want to scratch the very process of physically representing my pain AWAY?Why can?t I do that? Why? Why? Why? Why?

- When we see people who have done wrong things, hurtful things to people and society. They are all different in stature, eye colour, smile, grimace, hair and hate. Yet in each one we see something, we see both humanity, and a different entity, something we can never quite put our finger on! A disconnection with the ?norm?, an apparent distance between them and us. We recognise this in them, whether it exists is irrelevant, we see it, and it is not in their appearance, it is not in their physical structure?but we still see it?we recognise them as part of them. Those people can peel every part of skin on their bodies off and we would still recognise them, they would not escape their own souls.

- But I want to be part of everyone, but I?m not, I float above them observing only, never quite engaged. Therefore if I feel non-existent then I want to be non-existent.

- You are worthless.

- I want to take part in walking, walking down a street and know that people don?t see me. Then I will be engaged to the world.

- You are a fucking idiot, a waste of air!

- I want to enter a room and know that people couldn?t care less if I tripped or stood still. Then I will be engaged with the world.

- I know why everyone hates you, you fucking twat!

- I want to speak to someone and know they are not interested in what I say. Then I will be engaged in the world.

- You self pitying, self obsessed wanker!

- I want to look at a woman and not constantly be disappointed when she speaks to me as if she likes me. Then I will be in this world!

- You have to be the most disgusting thing I have ever looked at!!

- I want to peel my face away. I want to be what I am. Why do I feel so different? I want to watch the crowds like I have always, but without my physical anguish.

- Ok. Lay bare what you most want to hide from people. You cannot erase yourself by physically altering. Your soul lives stronger than your skin.

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