And The Crooked Shall Be Made Straight
(Shmuel Yosef Agnon)
Sometimes in life we take paths that lead us no place but around in circles. We wonder why we keep ending back up in the same predictment we were in not so long ago, but the saying is true, "if nothing is changed in reference to ones character, then one can expect the same, with a dash of seven times worst this time. Nothing and noone can change you, but you with persistence in wanting better in life, and going after what you feel is the best for you. "And the crooked shall be made straight" is strictly about taking paths less taken by others. I have always been one that wondered if I did this like this, what would happen. If I did not associate myself with people, places and things that has never meant me any good, where would I be today. I have always had some great desires. I wanted to be a dancer, a writer, a songwriter, a decorator of the best in Beverly Hills, but none of my dreams were pursued because I did what I thought would please others, in order to think I was holding on to friends. These people were never my friends, but at the time, I never knew that. The ones I hung out with, and did my worst things with were the ones who leave on the crooked path, that I thought I needed in order to survive. Then one day my decisions started ending me up in places that I did not want to be in. Places that were filled with skum, people that knew no other language but profanity, and had no inkling of what being a good person was all about. I hung out with these people just about all my adult life, until one day, I fell off the crooked path, and ended up in the hospital a very sick person. In 1989, I was diagnosed with congestive heart failure, high blood pressure, angina and a host of other dieases, that I paid no attention to as far as taking my medication. Still in denial of where I had landed in life, I took my medication when I wanted to, not when it was suggested by my doctor. One day, I feel to my lowest in my health, and as I laid on my bed of illness that I myself caused, the tears streaming down my face, and not understanding, the doctor walked in. Good morning Ms. Alex he would say with hair that looked like fresh fallen snow. His smile alone, made me know that someone higher than myself was still hanging in there with me, I just had to change my ways. The doctor reached out his hand for a hand shake and my cold wet hands reached for his. He could tell I was a nervous wreak by now. He sat on the bed beside me and just sat there with me as I cried. He could see and feel my fear of dying with so many dieases, because my mother had just died a few months earlier. "Doctor I don't want to die." What will happen to my grandchildren, if I leave this place now. He looked at me, held my hand, and said, you see sometimes we have to do what is best for us. You can't keep letting the world and it's problem take you to heights you cannot afford to go. You have a history with these dieases, and if anything is going to change, it has to be you. The path you are on, turn it around, and let God take care of the rest. I understood. January 2006, was the turnaround for me. For five years I could not walk without being out of breath. Today, I am redecorating my home, taking long walks, and doing some of the things with my grandson, I have never done, play with him. The crooked was made straight for me, and I have no desire to return to that path again.
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