Resumo de Denial Of Abuse And Mental Ill Heath

Growing up is hard for most girls, the periods, bodily changes and coping with hard exams. Things were different for me. As a child, my cousins who were from another part of the country would instigate some sexual abuse, which is technically incest from the ages 9 to 13. I was a normal child, who after my male cousin locked me in the boot of my mother's car and threateningly told me what a "Dildo" was, while lying on top of me. I began to lose sleep and become "difficult" and it was suggested that I saw a child homeopath, who asked me about my male cousin's abuse. His denial, which was well protected by my uncle and aunt for years, hurt me, I admit I self harmed and tried to run away as I was hurt by his behaviour. I was going to be admitted to hospital under the suggestion of a local Dr. however my father, intervened. I was too ill to participate in a local Common Entrance and took a paper to go to a senior school in Dorset. It was a cold, overly feminine atmosphere, regulated and basically an unrounded exam factory. However I built up some friendships and coped fairly well, and the education was however brilliant .
After dropping out of uni, due to eating a whole "hash" pizza and sleeping for 24 hours, my mental health suffered and after 3 failed jobs and becoming obsessed with making my room in to an elaborate mural, and hearing voices, I was diagnosed with Schizo Affective disorder. Living in the same town where one of the side effects of the drugs to combat the Schizo symptoms was, weight gain, it didn't help that I gorged myself of sweets, crisps and chocolate from the local newsagents that was nearby, which crushed my self esteem as my slimmer friends at the time took me around shops, worrying abou their slender frames. After a year gathered all the courage in my soul and made a decision to tell the friends I had made at the local college. 5 of them rejected me and one has remained consistant. It hurt, and I am very wary, of telling people my exact condition as people react so badly. They are either so frightened that they avoid me like the plague, or they come over all patronizing, and treat me like a child. I am now 29, I do very part time voluntary work, and do not fit in to the category of 29 year old with man and child, which society expects, I have a good male friend, and some close female ones, and still yes, still live with Mum and Dad who have been completely wonderful in suporting me. I also realise now that the repression of my cousin's abuse inside of me, is a contributary factor to cause my illness, he has two little girls now, and I worry if they will be abused.
I am genetically predisposed to this disease, and have had great support from my family , friends and the Community mental health team, and have in turn been a volunteer supporting people with learning difficulties and mental health issues, it like any job has it's good and bad points . However, it has taught me a valuable lesson in life, never make fun of someone with a disability, and always look to the future.
And finally, accept, move on, and build on your strengths!

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