Beautiful Dreams
(Eva Dancheva)
How I did realised that I am getting old? I look at myself in the mirror and still see this 24 years old girl that left home and went to get "the big catch" abroad. I left my mum and dad, my dogs and my cats, the house that I grew up in, all my friends and places that keep my memories of my childhood- places full of love and passion, pain and sadnes but all this was MINE. My world, my place, my life! Arriving abroad I felt that I would succeed and would be much more apreciated than I was at home.Wrong of cours!!! In some ways I was, but no human being here respected what I have gone through, what I left behind and what great gesture I have made to come in their country and to live their way, to speak their language and to understand thier mentality. Yeah this was my choise, right or Wrong but little bit more appreciation would make me feel like a human. Not like a part of this big machine that kills feeling and bases everything on money and speed of moving. Love is just "dream", career is just for the priveledged and non-polite, strongly money orientated "humans", killing, raping and black magic has become nearly everyday fact.Racism and ideology, conflict of religions unessasary made my days even darker.In multy-national country like this one, when you introduce yourself you should state your religion first and then your name. We have actualy turned the simple human things to unreal ugly fantasy. Yes, phisically I dont look and feel like old women, no man or woman would belive my age, but the thinking and this abstract abouve that comes up in my mind every night and the nostalgy, the real pain of unrealised dreams made me think that I am Out of Date, but be careful "PEOPLE" I will catch up....
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