The King Of Moldesia And The Duke Of Battersea
(anon)
The King and the Duke were just returning from the funeral of anassociate of theirs and arguing over a bet ."I didnt say I would payyou fifty pounds if Arsenal win Mike. I said I would pay fifty poundsto see them win". The Duke said in his strangulated cockney accent thatDel Boy would of been proud of."Yes you did you f.....g liar !" TheKing said in a more rounded tone that was still London in itsorigin."Look just because they believe you are King s..t in Rhodesiadoesnt mean you can talk to me like that you old git! " The Dukereplied, and they went on in this way until they turned different waysto their seperate council flats. Having lately returned from Africaafter about forty years to live off social security in London. Theywere both doing farely well on benefits, to be able to afford to flyback to Rhodesia every year but the King having a bigger appetite thanthe Duke wanted to go twice a year for at least six months. Knowing hehad to be careful of the Social Security brigade finding out. The coldweather payment just about covered the flight and swopping his flatwith people in Africa and staying in their house in Harare helped thestay, but then he needed spending money.His girl friends over thereexpected it.He had already sworn to The Home Office that about twentydifferent people were his children or ex wives, so did he dare to keepon with it as it was a quite a good earner. Everyone he knew wasscamming. The Black market was a part of life he had always known.Africa ran on it.Perhaps not quite so well since Mugabe had come topower, but his friends there had got a farm out of it. A bit far out inthe country but alright for a stay when he was there. The King decidedhe would get a child sent over, one of the extended family so he couldclaim more benefits and with the comforting thought of more money madehis coco and went to bed, feeling farely exhausted at the thought o allthe running around he would have to do over vizas.
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