Resumo de Drawer - Stefanie Jenneskens

Each humans on ground connection must live only over to die...

A dark morning. A day full of rain, darkness and isolation. Why the whole? Why live? The none, which you remained by it - which he loved - this was small, torn off sheet its drawing block. Only one small picture. A picture full of lives, a picture of its love, a picture, which he meant so much, a picture, which he will never paint to end...In deep despair and full rage she tore it up, this memory to it that this picture could not be terminated, showed it that also their hopes and their longings, which planned future can be never fulfilled. Their soul was unfulfilled, empty, a only one black hole. In her head it hammered. Why only? Why did you leave you me alone? However... alone... Tears let her eyes already swollen swell. Their face twisted itself a only one, painful mask, a mask, which could not do it placings. A mask of the mourning. The storm hit her. The weather could have a feeling for the pain, it began to feel, what she feels, it expressed with rage and full anger. Energetically, flashing, crying... feelings, which defy each other. Feelings, which she could not switch off. Feelings, which tore her heart up. She leaned to the naked concrete wall and could down there be slid. She dug her tear-inundated face into her hands. Her whole strength disappeared and she could be fallen, falls in her mourning, falls into her pain, falls in her rage. This terrible existence obligation on God ground connection... if you, God always be there, surrounds us constantly, where were you, when he needed you? Where are you now, where I need you? She cried. The whole night over remained she awake, until her forces diminished and no more tears gave their eyes, then fell asleep and she dreamed about another world, a better world, about a world with her dearest one, a world, where there was no cancer. But the color-glad and beautiful world transformed into the reality. A dark tunnel. He, her man, was located in the restless and threatening darkness. The darkness packed him and pulled him ever further from the light, ever more deeply into the tunnel. He seized her hand. No, this time she was allowed not to release him, she was allowed his hand not to release and not in the nothing not lose. She lost him already once, which was not allowed to happen again! A world without him... that could not introduce herself again. Goose skin shook her arms and crept highly up to its neck. She left his hand not loose, clasped it so firmly, as if it was a rope to that she to hold on had, so that she did not fall the cliff down. He stopped passively beside her, did not realize her, did not regard her, went at it past into the blackness, into the unattainable darkness. He pulled she afterwards, tore she also into the river of the forgetfulness, into the suction of death. Now it was he, who held her hand. He pressed it so firmly that she believed her fingers would die. She struggled for air, he pulled she, ever faster, ever more rapidly. She did not see the light of the tunnel any longer. Black. Suddenly it surrounded water. Beside her and still hold her hand: he! His face was not liveless, sadly, empty, it expressed feelings, not the breath of an emotion. She struggled for air, wanted to emerge, but she could not. She could not release his hand and he didn't want her to give. She had to snatch to the surface, at air. Fear drove into each individual fiber of her body, because it was clear now, she had him to release around further to live! It had to release and fight. He dipped ever more deeply. It was to be gotten too late him back, she had to emerge...She appeared in the living room of the small flat. She laied near the wall. Her hair wildly, red eyes and swollen bones, by lying on the soil. She turned on the backs and regarded the cover. Fraying the wood was everywhere different. She began to understand. She began to understand that also the life is differently peckled that each humans have another, own and again and again new sample. Yes, then she had to understand the life. She laughed automaticly, such an explanation you, dearest one, certainly also would have pleased!

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