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Women Who Love Too Much
(Dr. Robin Norwood)

All relationships are unhealthy at times. Some a little more than other. But could Dr. Robin Norwood of "Women who love too much.", Be right about the actual concept of loving too much? I was raised believing that there was no such thing as too much love or loving excessively. But according to Dr. Norwood's book, I am living on a slide that is spiraling downwards and I have nothing to hold onto.
Dr. Norwood states on page one, "when being in love means being in pain, you are loving too much." But I say, "Love hurts no matter who you love." Isn't there some one in your past you loved so much that you thought is would kill you, it hurt so bad? I have been through it and I know any one who reads this; has felt that way too.
And yet I go back to Dr. Norwood and on page one, She mentions our excusing of our loved one's moddiness, bad tempers, indifferences, and or put downs as loving too much still. Everyone makes excuses! There is not getting around it! And why wouldn't we? Everyone's got a bad temper once in a while. Even myself! But that don't mean it's the only side of me. I would want some one pardoning me for my behavior. And honestly Who likes every single characteristic their signifigant other posses?
Saddly I apply to so much of Dr. Norwood's book. It truly is scary. But I know I am not the only woman who loves too much. And I will even bet that there are men out there who have this same exact problem. As a matter of fact Norwood even says there are. But it is mainly a woman problem. Women react to love in different ways then the men do in most cases.
My personal view on love is, "If it doesn't hurt, then it isn't real."
After all, if we are dreaming and pinch ourselves; it is not going to hurt. But if we are truly awake, we do indeed feel that pinch. Perhaps that is a bad analogy, but I cannot express this in any other way by words.
If there is is such a thing as a "healthy relationship"; what is it like? There isn't a single relationship between two people that does not have problems and obstacles challenging each partner. Which brings me to my next big question. If relationships with problems are doomed from the start, How can we develope a good relationship?
Women thrive in their relationships with their loved ones. We don't do so well alone when it comes to love. But is love an addiction to us? Does love make us women "man-junkies"?
Yes, I am about to mention Dr. Norwood yet again. But she speaks of obsession in her book I have been referring to in this article. She says that the root of some obsessions when obsessed with the topic (men or relationships) could actaully be fear. Fear of what though? Her answer. "Abandonment, and of being destroyed."
I don't quite know if I completely agree or not to this. Norwood has a pretty good point and supports it with her next stated theoretic opinion, which basically indicates that the love we give to our partner whom we are obsessed with, is in desperate hopes that he/she will make all those fears go away...
My only question is. Is it possible that our loved ones keep those fear alive and don't know it?

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