Resumo de Rumplestiltskin

Rump(lestiltskin) enters.

Guy: Well if it isn?t our old friend Rip Van Winkle! How?s it goin?, buddy?!

Rump: Shut up, Jackass.

They go in and Rump takes off his shoes etc. with the help of Guy.

Guy: So- how was jail? Did they treat you differently on account of you being a midget?

Rump: Leave me alone.

Guy: Did you feel discriminated against?

Rump: Shut up.

Guy: Did they molest you?

Someone else enters.

Someone else: (pointing) Hey-! It?s that crazy-ass leprechaun!

Rump: God damn it!

Guy: This is not a leprechaun. This is Rip Van Winkle.

Someone else: No, no? he?

Guy: Yeeess.

Someone else: No, Rip Van Wrinkle is the Guy who slept for a long time and grew a beard?

Guy: Oh, yeah! Where?s your beard?

Rump: I swear to god?

Someone else: So he?s a leprechaun??

Person enters

Person: Hey-! It?s Rip Van Winkle!

Guy and Someone else: Nonono no? That?s the guy that slept forever?beard?

Person: Oh yeah. Hey-! Didn?t Rip Van Wrinkle drink dwarf-beer before he fell asleep? Maybe he?s one of them.

Guy: Maybe.

Rump: I am not a dwarf!

Someone else: Oh. No- wait! He?s what?s-his-name? remember-?!

Person: Oh, right. Spinning hair into gold?

Rump: Straw.

Person: How was jail?

Guy: Did they molest you?

Someone else: Hair?

Rump: Straw!

Someone else: Oh, I remember now! His name is- shit! What is it? It?s right on the tip of my brain?

Person: You don?t have a brain.

Someone else: R. It starts with a rrrrrr?..

Rump: I hate you.

Someone else: RRrrrrr?.. uh, shit. Oh! Rip Van Winkle!!

Guy: No!

Someone else: Crap. Wait! Rrrrrrrr

Rump: This is Stupid.

Guy: R. R.

Person: Rrrrr rip- wait, no.

Rump: I know the answer.

Guy: NO!

Person: You can?t tell us.

Someone else: I almost got it!

Guy: We?re supposed to guess!

Someone else: rrrrrrrr??.

Person: Or you?ll turn our hair into straw.

Rump: Gold!

Person: What?

Rump: I?ll turn your hair into gold.

Someone else: R. R. Rip Van shit!

Guy: You?ll turn our hair into gold?

Rump: No- uh!

Someone else: Damn it!

Rump: I?ll turn your Straw into gold.

Guy: I don?t have any straw.

Person: Is that supposed to be a punishment?

Guy: I don?t get it.

Person: I don?t get it.

Guy: So, if we can?t guess our name?

Person: His name?

Guy: If we can?t guess his name?

Person: Then he starts spinning straw into gold?

Guy: That?s just stupid.

Person: It doesn?t make a damn bit of sense.

Someone else: Rumplestiltskin! High five!

Guy: Dude!

Person: That?s totally it!

Someone else: YES!! I told you. (points at Rumplestiltskin) Rumplestiltskin! Heh! I?m awesome!

Person: So, now that he guessed it?

Guy: You?re?NOT going to Spin our straw into gold?

Rump: GAH! The deal is I teach you how to spin straw into gold and give you three chances to guess my name. If you fail I get you?re first-born child.

Person: That?s just as stupid.

Someone else: Seriously.

Person: Why wouldn?t you just spin up a bunch of gold and never mind about the name/first-born child thing?

Rump: Because I?

Guy: He can?t really spin straw into gold! It?s a scam. No one can ever remember his stupid name and they freak out about the kid thing and give him stuff to make him go away.

Rump: I can TOO spin straw into gold!

Person: Let?s see you do it, then.

Rump: Well? I can?t just?! ...there?s magik rules?

Guy: Right. This guy?s a hardcore blackmail artist.

Someone else: You should see all the crazy stuff he has.

Person: Is that why you we?re in jail? Blackmail?

Rump: No, I-

Guy: No, he got all drunk and tried to spin some guy?s hair into gold.

Rump: It looked like straw. It was very coarse.

Person: What happened?

Guy: He got punched.

Person: Who?

Someone else: Rip Van Winkle.

Person: So how?s it that you?re the one who ended up in jail?

Guy: When the cops showed up-

Someone else: Someone called the cops.

Guy: and when the cops showed up-

Someone else: our buddy here was chasing this guy-

Guy: down the sidewalk with chunks of that thing?what did you call it?

Rump: It was my loom.

Person: That wheel-thing or whatever?

Someone else: Yeah.

Guy: The thing he used to spin the gold.

Someone else: They got into a fight and ended up breaking it.

Rump: It was sort of rare.

Someone else: Oooh, was he pissed.

Rump: Piss drunk- I only spent one night in jail.

Person: What, last night?

Everyone else: No nonono?.no.

Guy: This was a couple of weeks ago.

Someone else: What have you been doing since then?

Guy: Hunting for looms?

Person: Did you fall asleep? Did you pull a ?Rip Van Winkle??!

Someone else: Awesome.

Rump: Get out of my face.

He storms off or slams a door or something of that nature.

The end.

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