Resumo de Emotional Intelligence

Pre-eminence of heart over head at critical junctures in life shows the central role of emotions in human psyche. The human brain developed from bottom up. Upper parts are elaborations of the lower, more ancient parts. In the course of evolution, the cortex layer of the brain developed first on top of which the neo-cortex and several other higher level layers were later added, enabling human beings to nurture a vast range of emotions and feelings. The basic feelings sprout from the cortex, whereas neo-cortex helps in controlling the instinctive emotions with more rational thoughts.But at times of emergencies the system falls back to the root regions, enabling them to control the neo-cortex also.It is the ?amygdala? in the brain that is the root of all emotions and passions. When some trouble is sensed, incoming signals from the senses pass through the amygdala, which scans them and sends an emergency alarm call to different parts of the brain. Success in life is not due to high IQ always. It requires high ?emotional intelligence? also.The first step towards controlling ones emotions is getting aware of one?s emotions. This enables us to monitor the emotional jerks continuously. But atotally neutral attitude is also not called for. It leads to lack of signals (positive or negative) based on previous experiences which can be catastrophic.Some of the common emotions and ways to control them are given below:Of all the emotions, anger is the one which people are most inept in handling. Anger starts with a release of catacholamines generating a quick episodic rush of energy lasting for minutes. The effect of this can last for hours and days. Anger can be diffused by (i) challenging the thoughts that trigger the surges of anger. (ii) cooling off and relaxation techniques.Worry is in a sense a rehearsal of what might go wrong and how to deal with it; but chronic worry can lead to emotional hijacking. Worry can be captured by self awareness. Through practice one can monitor and quickly identify the cues which signal that they are going into an anxiety spiral.Melancholy in low levels can be helpful in shutting mind from all diversions and finding a solution to cop up with the situation. But rumination and deep depression are generally destructive. To manage melancholy: challenge the thoughts at the centre of the rumination and deliberately distract the mind to some thing more pleasant. Fear and panic always reduces performance and adversely affects the memory. On the contrary enthusiasm and motivation helps to focus on the problem and persistently pursue success.Most people who can get along with others are found to adopt a strategy. First is to observe a group for some time. Next to adapt oneself to the common mood of the group and gradually mingle oneself into the group. Never be in a rush or try to push fast into a group.Lack of EI is indicated in the increasing rate of divorces also. Traditionally girls are brought up with more emphasis on emotional adeptness whereas boys are not. In later stages, this makes women more sensitive to emotions while men prefer to avoid any emotional confrontations. Some effective tools suggested for avoiding break-ups are challenging ones own allegations, non defensive listening and speaking. Interactions at workplace are also similar to those in marriage.The state of the mind influences the body also. It has been proved scientifically that the immune system and central nervous system are closely interlinked. Emotional support from close friend orrelatives and relaxation techniques like yoga can be helpful in evading fears and anxieties from the mind of the sick. But the notion that mind alone can cure a disease is also not acceptable.Seven key elements a family should cultivate in children are : Confidence, curiosity, intentionality (the wish and capacity to make an impact and act persistently), relativeness (understand others and act based on that understanding), self control, capacity to communicate and co-cooperativeness.Childhood actually provides with a window of opportunity for emotional lessons. Trauma inflicted during childhood or later can lead to what is called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Such people show over sensitivity to what are otherwise harmless cues. Awareness of the condition, relaxation techniques, reliving or re-depicting the trauma repeatedly have been proved helpful in recovering from PTSD. Medicines may be required in acute conditions.Due to different patterns of brain activity four temperamental types ? timid, bold,upbeat and melancholy ? are found. Timidity and shyness can be noticed in infancy itself. However temperament is not destiny, it can be changed by the kind of emotional treatment one receives. Statistics show that there is an alarming increase in teenage violence in US as well as in other parts of the globe. Children show withdrawal or social problems, anxiety and depression, attention or thinking problems, delinquency and aggressiveness. These problems are universal occurring in all ethnic, racial and income groups. Timely help can change these changes and stop a child?s trajectory towards delinquency. ?Self-science? classes are a popular idea spreading in schools under different namessuch as social development, life skills, emotional learning etc. Kids are given training on various aspects like monitoring their emotions, effectively controlling them harnessing emotions productively, developing empathy and ability to reads emotions and handling relationships. The author concludes the book by stressing on the importance of teaching the most essential skills for life to each and every child.

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