Resumo de The Mammoth Hunters

Wow, Mammoth Hunters - never read it. But I used to pass essays in school by blowing smoke and they run the country that way, so here goes.This must be about Really Big Guys who hunt. I dunno what they hunt but you'd have a lot of problems if you were a Really Big Guy. Like, what if you had to go pee and had this immense schlong and you get into one of those little restroom stalls and it keeps whacking up against the wall and doors - Whack! Whack! Whack!Well, they'd think you were whacking off, so of course they'd call the cops and seeing how big you were the cops would get scared and shoot your ass.That would piss me off if I was a Really Big Guy so I'd probably go pee in the woods. Which is why I figure these Really Big Guys go hunting a lot. Civilization sucks if you're seventeen feet tall. Now, if you're only seven feet tall and black, you go into the NBA and make a ton of dough and score all the chix. But seventeen - way too much, dude.So these Really Big Guys come across an elephant. They're taller than an elephant so they could just kick its ass, but that's no fun. You can't make that big BOOM noise hunters love to do with their guns. Except being that big they can't carry regular guns so they tote some mortars. They pump a few mortar shells into the elephant. BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! Wotta friggin mess. Nothin' but elephant ass all over. Elephant blood. Elephant hair. Too bad I like elephants. I went to the circus once and when no one was lookin I punched an elephant in the balls to see what would happen. Damn! Don't ever punch an elephant in the balls. They get REALLY PISSED. Wotta friggin mess.Anyway, these Really Big Guys are cookin this elephant. Elephant ear sandwiches. Big bread - they just get those ready baked pizza crusts. Crunch. Crunch. Chomp. Chom. And one big guy says to the others, "Elephant ears are kinda tough. Why don't we go kill sumpin softer.""Hey, how 'bout we kill some poofy, pansy queers?" says the other. They all agree and go off to California, where all the queers are - mostly in San Francisco. That's where the story ends. I mean, these abstracts ain't supposed to be that long anyway.Not that I have anything against elephants or queers. Maybe San Francisco. I got burned on a dope score there once. Big city. Lotsa crooks. Ya know, that book sounds interesting - now that I reviewed it maybe I'll read it.

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