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Lost In Matrimony
(bimbo odukoya)

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Timi was a comfortable happy young man who could be regarded as a success story in all areas. He was doing well as a banker, an elder in church and was married and blessed with three beautiful children. However, things seemed wonderful only on the surface, as Timi?s marriage to Kike was weathering a storm. Kike had decided she wanted a divorce ten years earlier and this really troubled Timi who had tried all he could to make the marriage work. He had visited marriage counselors with kike and, though this seemed to help at first, the situation soon began to deteriorate once again.
Kike soon lost all interest in her home and this was reflected in her attitude to her children, as well as in the state at the house. She seem to be interested only with hanging out with friends till the wee hours of the morning before returning home. Over the years, she had told all the marriage counselors the same thing, At age 18, immediately after finishing secondary school, she had been cajoled into marriage with a boy approved by her both parent and her church, because she had been made to understand that it was the proper thing to do. She had immediately involve her self in home making and church activities, and had given birth to children, now, at 28, she wanted to end her marriage.
I am not going to spend the rest of my life as I have spent the last ten years fulfilling the duties of motherhood and being a good wife and home-maker.
Duty! Duty! Duty! I want to have fun! Every single day I spend in this house reminds me of my duty. I am tired of it. As a young girl my Duty was to be obedient to my parents and do nothing that may embarrass them. My duty in secondary school was to go get grades. What happiness or fulfillment has all this devotion to duty got me ten years?
The tears welled up in her eyes as she stopped speaking. Why was Kike bent on divorce? Emotionally immaturity was the fundamental reason. A successful marriage involves more that just a couple?s determination to make it work. Before entering into marriage, both parties must have learned how to accept responsibility. This sense of responsibility can not be formed overnight. Rather, it is built into the character of a child day by day. At some point in the child?s development, he or she must realize that responsibility does not preclude us from having fun, but it is the means to the end of true happiness and fulfillment.
The training Kike had missed in the process of growing up could not be supplied through marriage counseling. Divorce offered her an opportunity to escape from the responsibility imposed on her by marriage, she was fed up, frustrated and wanted to escape, she ended up divorcing her husband.
Kike was not mature or informed enough to handle marriage and as a result she crumbled under emotional stress. Never enter into marriage without being mature enough to handle it. Parents or pastors should not pressurize their children into marriage when they are not ready. It will have a negative effect in the long run as proved by Kike?s case.



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