Stick Up For Yourself!
(Gershen Kaufman,Lev Raphael,Pamela Espeland.)
positive self-esteem is the single most important psychological skill we can develop in order to thrive in society.Having self-esteem means being proud of ourselves and experiencing that pride from within.Without self-esteem,kids doubt themselves,cave in to peer pressure,feel worthless or inferior,and may turn to drugs or alcohol as a crutch.With self-esteem,kids feel secure inside themselves,are more willing to take positive risks,are more likely to take responsibility for their actions,can cope with life's changes and challenges,and are resilient in the face of rejection,disappointment,failure,and defeat.
Self-esteem is not conceit,it's not arrogance,and it's not superiority.Unfortunately,it's often confused with all three (and also with narcissism,egotism,and disrespect),which has contributed to a "self-esteem backlash".You've probably seen the articles and heard the assertions that too much self-esteem is bad for kids.Nothing could be further from the truth.Indiscriminate praise,flattery,social promotion,and falsely inflated self-worth are bad for kids,but those aren't what self-esteem is about.Self-esteem is based on facts and truths,achievements and competencies.The more self-esteem kids have,and the stronger it is, the better equipped they are to make their way in the world.
Conceit,arrogance,and superiority aren't the result of genuine pride.They are the result of contempt for others.Pride grows out of enjoying ourselves,our accomplishments,our skills and abilities.It's not about diminishing anyone else.
Contempt often masquerades as pride,but it's a false pride.When we're contemptuous of others,we perceive them as being beneath us.Secretly,however,we feel inferior to others.Contempt allows us to rise above those feelings of inferiority temporarily,but in order to keep feeling this way,we must continually find someone else to feel superior to-someone else we can put down in order to stay on top.
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