MAKE YOUR CHILD A WINNER
BY: Mrs. Lata Lakshminarayanan
Guidance Counsellor, Child motivator
Nothing can be as important as our children. They are the future of our families-and the world. How they grow up will depend not just on the love, parents and family members give them, or how much money is spent on them. What also matters is how everyday situation is tackled. And how informed parents are. Your 11-year-old daughter is about to perform her arangetram. She?s keyed up, and you are afraid she?ll make mistakes. Yet as soon as her guru gives her the signal, she begins the dance, poised and confident. She gives an excellent performance.
Peak performance-moments when children achieve the best that?s in them-are the stuff of every parent?s dream. And yet most us have seen a report card or a dance or music performance that falls short of what our kids can accomplish.
Why can some boys and girls repeatedly perform at their peak, while others of equal or superior ability cannot? Many parents assume skill is very much determined by natural ability; the student with the highest IQ will get the best grades, or the athlete with the most prowesses will surpass his teammates. The edge comes from mental attitude, character and strategy. I have found some simple ways for parents to help their youngsters to develop those traits:
· FIND SOMETHING TO PRAISE: A child who feels good about himself succeeds. Nurturing that self-esteem is the central element of inspiring a child to peak performance, and you can?t start too early.
· TEACH, DON?T BLAME: Unfortunately, if you could tape parent?s comments on a child?s performance, you?d probably find a high percentage of negative remarks. Worse, the criticism may be accompanied by put-down. ?You?re so dumb!? ?Why can?t you get this through your head?? If you keep telling your son something wrong with him, sooner or later he?ll believe it. Criticize the behaviors not the child. Follow every ?that?s wrong!? by explaining what?s right. Always leave your son knowing what you want him to do, not what you don?t want him to do. That thought should inspire positive action.
· ASSESS YOUR CHILD?S STRENGTH: Too often we try to mould our kids and do self-assessments. The first thing I ask a boy or girl is, ?What do you like to do? What?s fun for you? What are you good at?? I?m not looking for a recitation of trophies won or achievements recorded, but simpler answers, things the kid takes pride in.
· ENCOURAGE SELF-APPLAUSE: Talking positively to yourself about yourself reinforces self-image, which in turn improves performance. Better performance cause self-praise, which elevates self-image, which triggers further improvement.
· TEACH YOUR CHILD TO RELAX: Knowing how to relax is the key to peak performance. When you are relaxed, your mind is clearer, and your body can function at its greater efficiency. A relaxed mood helps to set aside distraction and zero in on the task ahead.
· CONCENTRATE: Parents often complain they can?t keep their kid?s attention for more than a few seconds. You can sharpen your child?s ability to concentrate with little drills. For every child sing a song and ask her to listen closely to the lyrics. Then question the child about what it heard.
· REHEARSE-MENTALLY: Since kids have vivid imaginations, they take readily to visualization. Before an exam, urge your child to study hard and then create a mental motion picture of the whole test, from the instant the class bell rings until students are fold to lay down their
pen.
· REMING YOUR CHILD OF SUCCESS: A good school report card posted where your child will see it reminds her that she can do well- and reinforce the urge to repeat her success. But don?t confine yourself to past triumphs. Inspire your child to additional success with pictures of awards of certificates yet to be won. Add
messages of encouragement.
There are not shortcuts to bringingyour child to do his best. It?s a gradual process of support, encouragement and hard work. And those efforts payoff not only in peak performance, but also in closer, warmer relations between parent and child.
